Governor voted best drinker?

I do not agree with the following squib! I absolutely do not agree with it. The best drinker must be this huge mzungu teenager, who drinks 15 (fifteen!) shots at once out of a big glass and can still stand and talk. Well, but since that teenager is not a Ugandan...

Anyway, when I read that gloss, I could not resist to start smiling... :->

Tumusiime Mutebile voted best drinker

QUESTION: TB, this Emmanuel Tumusiime-Mutebile chap, isn’t he the governor of Bank of Uganda? That aside TB, is it also possible we could refer to him as just Emma, because Emmanuel Tumusiime-Mutebile is a bit of a mouthful to keep throwing out.

Okay, Emma it is then, and he is the governor of Bank of Uganda. Emma, so it happens, is the toast of the nation, after being voted the top drinker in the land, according to a report in one of the Sunday papers.

I thought Emma was all into figures, interest rates, Treasury Bonds — that sort of thing. So, I don’t see how drinking comes into it.

Remember, Emma does not spend his free time pouring over spread sheets and pondering about interest rates. After jobo, and if time allows, Emma, just like you and I, will look for a place to go and have a guzzle.

TB, do you have any idea where he might go for a guzzle?

I have never seen him at Yakobos, The Deep in Ntinda, Just Kicking in Kisimenti, Little Mama Bar or Capital Pub in Kabalagala. He is above that. He probably goes to Sheraton Hotel, Kabira Club or Speke Resort Munyonyo.

And what might those drinks be TB? A Tyson Waragi, Eagle Larger or a Senator beer?

Please. Can you see Emma guzzling down a Senator? Emma has been known to quaff wine but he usually prefers Johnnie Walker whisky; black if not blue, which goes for sh36,000 a tot.

Why would Emma want to spend sh36,000 on a tot of whisky? With that money, he could buy himself a crate of beer and still have some change for a couple of spare ribs of pork at Yakobos.

True, but as I said earlier, Emma is a refined man.

Anyway, getting back to the point, you said Emma was voted top drinker in the land. Could you pour more light on that?

According to the report in the papers, Emma can really hold his guzzle. He is not like you and I, who catch five bottles and start merrilysinging. Emma apparently can handle a serious session and still do his sums before he goes to bed. And while we are still nursing our hangovers in bed the following morning, he is already in office deliberating over interest rates with not so much as a hangover.

That is impressive. Who were the other top drinkers in the land?

Other notables included Kahinda Otafiire, Cardinal Emmanuel Wamala, Capital FM’s Alex Ndawula, pastor Okudi look alike Patrick Oyulu, my colleague Kalungi Kabuye, Pamela Kangwagye, among others.

Any last words of wisdom?

Anybody who has seen Emma drink will certainly agree that he is talented. I hope he opens up a drinking school when he retires, because according to research done by the Australian National University in Canberra, people who drink are better thinkers than teetotallers. Ever wondered why Emma was the darling of the IMF and World Bank when he was secretary to the treasury and why he was elevated to governor, Bank of Uganda? Think about it!

SOURCE
The New Vision

Published on: Wednesday, 10th August, 2005 by tbukumunhe@newvision.co.ug